There are two theories about what a multiple personality really is. One sees us as a puzzle that got shaken up. Once you put all the pieces back together, tadaaa, you have the original person, one and healthy.
The other is what I prefer (and I'll borrow the picture from Matt Ruff: Set this House in Order, good book by the way, describes the inner worlds very well, even though I don't really like the end). Past events tore the original rose bush to pieces and the fragments got scattered all over the garden. Some fall on a nice fertile, sunny spot and grow well again, others waste away in the shade, on harsh ground and just can't do much more than cling to sheer life. Many die. No matter what you do, you can't ever bring all those pieces together and re-unite them into the first rose bush. The parts grew and changed and are now more than the original personality. Each new individual might not be as big and strong as the original would have been had it not been torn apart, but individuals they are.
People who follow the first idea think that trauma therapy is only successful once the multiple system became one single person again.
Sounds absolutely horrible to us. We feel sorry for uno people already, isn't it totally lonely up there in the head? All alone? No one to talk with or cuddle with whenever you need it? No one to cheer you up or on in hard times? Sure, yes, sometimes life in here can be hell, it's not easy to be many and fit all our needs and wishes into one life. The unprocessed memories can leave me gagging and choking in a corner, barely able to hold on to the here and now. But our life is also colorful and interesting.
I can't imagine that we all would fit into one personality. What would happen to all the things that don't fit in? Right now people contain lively, as-if-it-happened-yesterday memories, would they fade? Disappear? Become something we remember but can't tap into anymore and relive them as vividly?
What happens with all the various interests and hobbies? Would we have to decide if we want to be able to draw or to knit but not able to do both? I don't know any uno with as varied interests as we bring them along.
What about skills? Some of us are way better at one thing than others... would we lose some skills completely? Or end up with an overall average of them all? Mediocre at everything.
Who would be this new all-of-us "me"? Someone from the inside who already exists soaking up all the others? Or someone all new? Would some parts not want to be part of the meld and die? Would some not be allowed to come along and be condemned to die?
No, we don't want to integrate.
Our goal is to live a happy, stable, fulfilling life, as a team. We're growing together, we're already a LOT better than we were a few years ago. I hope we can invite more people from the darker sides to come and help with this, so the inside world can finally, at some point in time be peaceful and good for all.
But integrate? Nope!
