Like every other family life doesn't work out too well without some basic rules. Unlike most other families though, everyone has a say when it comes to those rules, babies, little children, yes, even the "pets".
Most things are consent-based. If any one person inside has an objection it will be heard and we'll try to find a way that works for everyone.
That sure has potential to make life "interesting". If you ever had to feed breakfast to a bunch of kids of various ages you get an idea what it's like. One wants milk, another tea, another juice, another is beyond such "childish" things and wants a strong coffee (and possibly a cigarette, I overrule that one, we don't smoke). But we all just have one stomach.
The solution for what to drink is easy... plain a bit of everything. Food can be equally varied, but usually people settle on something, or have a rotating schedule who gets to have the say on breakfast decisions what day. I don't really regulate that in any way, as long as the main rule "The body needs to be decently fed" is met. I just need to know what people want so I can go shopping for them.
The biggest problem is that consent takes time, a lot of time. With standard everyday stuff you know very soon what is ok and what not and there won't be a huge discussion every time this comes up. But anything with impact? Anything sudden and meaningful? It can take hours, or days until everything falls into place and we can move forward with a decision. That's why you'll never hear me agree to go to a party right away, it's always "I'll call you and let you know". As it's impossible to leave some of the family at home, everyone has to want to come along. It's just no fun when half the people would rather be elsewhere or have a real bad day.
Another important rule is that we're all responsible for the body. By the very nature of our existence we're all very good at pushing uncomfortable sensations and experiences so far out of our awareness that it just disappears. Mia might have felt the rumbling stomach first, but she doesn't want to stop coloring pictures, so she pushes the feeling out. Matt might feel it next, but he doesn't want to go and cook something, so he pushes it out. After a few rounds of this someone starts panicking because everything is suddenly so woozy and the body feels so weak and the belly hurts so much. Sigh. It's usually my job then to find something to eat to tide us over till a decent meal is ready.
You might have guessed it by now, the annoying jobs tend to be mine. But ok, that's what I'm made for. Yes, made. I am a construct. Unlike most of the people in here I did not grow from some terrible experience, I am a "helper", a idealistic imagination shaped for a certain job. As my job is to represent the family to the outer world and be the main mediator in the inner world, I have a few extra freedoms, along with the extra work load.
In emergencies I can overrule house rules and decide something without the input of others. I'm the only one who is allowed on the outside, to make it less confusing for the people we interact with (on occasion someone will wiggle past me, but that's usually a nono). And I have access to most memories.
I should probably explain that. We don't have one flowing memory from early childhood to now. Like the personality the memories are fragmented. Otherwise some of them would be unbearable. But that means that just because Ash knows how to weld, it doesn't automatically mean Mia does too. I never touched welding equipment in my life, but I can tap into Ash's memories and she will share what she learned, what it feels like and will give a running commentary while I try it out. That doesn't make me as good as Ash, it's still just second hand knowledge, but at least it's better than not knowing anything at all.
There is no rule that all memories have to be shared. Some things are very personal. Some people on the inside don't like each other or don't trust each other enough to share everything. But they know they can come to me and I will listen.
That's also the reason why I am the one who goes to therapy. I'm the only one who can find all the pieces of a past experience and bring them together so they can finally heal.
Some rules a "normal" family might have we don't. Feet on the table? Oh well, as long as you don't do it somewhere else or in company, who cares. Gummi bears and half a slice of cold pizza for breakfast? Is alright as long as there will be at least one more meal in the day (that IS a rule, at least two meals a day, at least one of them warm). There is no set bed time. No one gets forced to brush teeth (someone usually volunteers though). Getting dirty or leaving craft supplies all over the place is highly encouraged.
Makes for quite the wild troupe in here... well, and out there too, it tends to spill. And that's perfectly ok as long as we're gentle and respectful with each other.
